I always thought that being nice was enough. On the chalkboard in my kitchen it says “It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice”. I honestly try to be nice every single day of my life. I think I thought that made me a good person but now after the worst couple of months in history, I fear I am wrong. Being nice isn’t enough. Sure, it is a lot better than being mean or even worse, indifferent, but it isn’t enough. There are so many people being hurt, being treated badly, being put down and what really have I done to help them? I can do more and from now on, I will do more.
I have had some serious family issues in the last couple of months. My world started to crumble then to pile on, we have some health issues our extended family is dealing with. It’s been tough but what gets me through is the love and compassion from others. It’s not the people that are “nice”. It’s people who make me feel loved when I need it the most. It’s the people who choose compassion over judgement. It’s the people that check in on me to make sure I am ok. It’s sad but true when people say you see who your friends are when the going gets tough. I learned that I have very few friends but the ones I have are golden. What gives me peace is receiving love from unexpected places as well. Work friends, random acquaintances, people who are also struggling have changed my life for the better. There is love in the world and I will never forget it. I know these tough times will pass and I want to make sure that I learn from all the experiences.
The lesson that hurts right now is knowing that I haven’t done enough to help other people that I know have struggled. My “friends” like to ostracize individuals from the group. A couple of them like to hate people then like to get other people to hate them too. I honestly thought I was above all that nonsense but now that I am the one no one will talk to, I realize all the others that have been hurt like me. We all seem to follow along. I never disliked any of the girls I was convinced to steer clear of. It pains me to know they felt the same way I feel now. I could have been strong and stuck up for them and I didn’t. Sure, I was “nice” when I saw them but being nice to them didn’t help them through their tough time. I was a terrible friend. They needed someone to stick up for them and I acted like an insecure child and did nothing. I have to do better. I will do better. I will not be influenced by hate.
So my goal for this year, decade, and life is to not only be nice but to also be strong and compassionate. The world doesn’t change without people willing to stand up and make the change. Hate spreads so much faster than love but love is so much stronger. I choose love and I choose to be stronger.
With that, I’m going to have a strong cup of tea. Actually, it’s late, I am going to have some chamomile and go to bed.
Welcome to Par-teaTime 