Yesterday was my birthday. I planned on writing but instead I gave myself the freedom to do nothing. Normally, I would feel guilty being lazy for an entire day but since it was my birthday it was my gift to myself. Although I am not thrilled about getting older, I love having birthdays because they give me the opportunity to start fresh a new year. I guess I do it at New Year’s and new school year’s too but my birthday let’s me close the door on the past and open the door to the next year.
43 was not my favorite year. It wasn’t terrible but it certainly wasn’t my best. I am hoping to start 44 on a new foot. I need to leave all the bad behind and start something new. If I learned one thing, I learned that the world has far more kindness than it has darkness. Sometimes we are just too focused on the pain to see all the good around us.
This year, I hope to see all the little miracles that surround me every day. 44 years plus 1 day and so far so good. I went into work with a happy heart. I did a good job and I encouraged my team. I came home from work, spent time with my kids and made them a healthy, delicious meal. I cuddled my dog and I went over to a friends house with only positive energy. I noticed when there was negative around me. I wasn’t blind to it. I didn’t avoid it. I confronted it with the positive energy I used to have but have recently lost. It’s the end of the day and I feel blessed. Blessed to have a job that is far from perfect but perfectly suits where I want to be right now. Blessed to have an amazing, healthy family that I look forward to spending time with. Blessed to have people that I am lucky enough to call my friends.
I know it won’t be easy to focus on the good. I know it’s easy to get caught up in the bad. I know I will slip up. I know I will need encouragement but I will try. I will move forward confidently knowing that I am good and I am doing the best I can. I am leaving behind the people that have made me question who I am; the people who gave up on me even though I would never give up on them. It may take more than my 44th year for the hurt to go away but I move knowing that I always have good intentions. I always try to be kind and I would never knowingly hurt anyone. Anyone who doesn’t know that about me hasn’t taken the time to get to know me and although, I grieve the loss of them, it is they who are truly missing out.
Welcome to Par-teaTime 